USA vs. Scotland II

It appears that I may need to add a little snippet to my last post. I don't know how it happened, but I forgot to mention one of the coolest things about Scotland-their kick ass road signs. They must have an entire division of their government devoted to making signs that make people laugh their ass off.

Case in point: this is a sign that we saw near the small fishing village of Mallaig. Not being natives we could only assume that this sign means "Beware of Pedophiles." However, without any additional reference point to the two figures in the sign, perhaps we are jumping to conclusions. Maybe the sign means "Beware of freakishly large children holding hands with their normal size parents." Given the choice between the two, I'd say that the first is probably accurate. Every place has to be proud of something. Wisconsin has its dairy industry and serial killers; I guess Mallaig is proud of it's child mollesters.

Some sonuvabitch keeps letting his goddamn dog shit in my lawn. For a while there it seemed like every time I got up in the middle of the night to take a piss in my yard, I was finding a new pile of dog biscuits. Maybe I need one of these signs for my property. It says "NO FOULING" and if you lived in Scotland, maybe you'd know what the hell "fouling" is. But luckily, they also provided the picture for illiterate folks and tourists. How cool is a public sign with a dog shitting on it? Its even a Scottie dog! Notice the line isn't through the dog itself, because Scots are cool with the dogs, the line is through the big ol' pile of Polish brownies behind his turd cutter. The sign is also informative; next time you're on Jeopardy and you get asked what Scotland act 2003 Section 1 is you can answer proud to know that its the dog fouling law.

This is a sign telling you to protect your junk. There is obviously some twisted bastard running around kicking everyone in the jewels, even women in dresses and dudes in wheel chairs.

These signs make Scotland seem like a pretty shitty place, what with the pedophiles, dog poop, and crotch kickers and all. It gets worse, apparently they have signs there that warn of geriatric pick pockets. I guess you're just walking along with your cane and bam! You get your ass grabbed by an old woman. Shameless.

So getting back to the competition, has Scotland managed to tie up the score? Nay, the scoring committee has deemed the kick ass signs as half a point.

USA holds the lead 3 to 2.5. USA! USA! USA!